I Sew Myself Shut!!!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I'M SCREWED!!!

xo/- 9:31 AM
Pertie :)

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

I am in school... Just studied for my test for the past 3 hours... Feeling relatively tired now... So here i am taking a rest... Hmmm... Tomorrow i gotta go see the school authorities... Hope everything will be ok... Sigh... Wish me luck boy... Bleah...

I'm just feeling very lost... Very not focused... Very... I dunno wat also... My cough is not getting much better... I get tired very easily... What is happening to me? Maybe i'm dying... Lol... Well... Sometimes it may be better if i jyust die... Right?

Sigh...
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII.....

Scars - Papa Roach

I tear my heart open,
I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I'm Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed 'cuz you came around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cuz you channeled all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is...

I tear my heart open,
I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

I tear my heart open,
I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind us that the past is rea
lI tear my heart open just to feel

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You should've never come around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cuz you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand

Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

I tear my heart open,
I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tear my heart open,
I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

xo/- 3:13 PM
Pertie :)

Monday, January 23, 2006

Sigh... I'm feeling really fucked up... Today is my birthday... N probably that's y i'm feeling worse than before... Sigh... I guess till after this wed den i'll feel better... If the case is settled that is... I hope i wun get into too big the trouble... Sigh... Sometimes i really feel like no one cares at all... N i'm all alone... But sometimes when i feel that way... Somehow a friend or another will pop out and give me an assuring hug n make me feel better... But it's no longer the same person who used to do that for me 2-3 years ago... We can onlyshare happiness but not prob... She's no longer by my side when i have prob... Sigh... What to do? I used to think she's a fantastic friend... Now i'm wrong... She goes for what is more important to her... I used to be important to her that's y... Now that i'm not the important person in her life... I never get that kinda treatment from her again... But yet she still expects a lot from me... Sigh... Guess till the day i cant take it anymore... I'll still do what i can for her... Sigh... Just hope this period will blow over and everything will go back on track again... Sigh...

xo/- 11:58 AM
Pertie :)

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Yeah... Still sighing... Cos i'm still coughing like shit... One day i'll just couogh and look at my hands and wonder...

"What's this bloody pink thing on my hands?"

Before u know it... I'll have coughed my lungs out... Haha...

I just finished my Audit make up test... Was kinda ok... Except there was a 15 marks questions that i have like totally no idea how to do... Worked till 12.30 last night and reached home at 2 am... Bathed and started studying... Was studying till like 4 am and I was tired... So decided to sleep till 6.30 and go to school for the freaking test... And guess what? I had to stop at Codes of Ethics of all places!!! And that's my 15 marks question... Well... I din leave it blank but smoked my way through in great hope of faking the Audit teacher... You guys think it'll work? I doubt so... but i think she might give me some marks for trying so hard to fake and for faking so well... Haha...

Later gotta start studying for my Cost accoounting make up test which is tomorrow... And I got a make up test on Mon... The 23rd of Jan!!! 8 am in the freaking morning!!! ON MY FREAKING BIRTHDAY?! What the??!! Well... No choice i guess... Then got another test on Tues and Thurs... Think i wun live that long to complete all the tests... I'll die of fatique and this horrible cough of mine...

Not making things any better... I am freaking burnt like a chao-ta pie from the oven... This is a result of three days of sun... When i say sun... It really is sun... As in SUN!!! Get wat i mean? No? Cos i dun too... Got too much virus clogged up in my head... Yeah... And i got grazed on the knee... Not that i fed a cow grass off my knee or wat but yeah... Bad scratches and i sure gotta pay tribute to the beautiful barnicles on the steps of SINGAPORE RIVER!!! It's still hurting like shit now and i freaking cant straighten my leg... Bleah!!! I also got a lot more injuries elsewhere... One on my left hand... Small scratches here and there... And i dun even noe what caused them...

Alright... Think I wanna go shit... See ya guys around... I know you guys miss me... Tsk tsk... Or have you all forgotten me? Heh... Alright... Shall stop here...

:) Cheers (:

xo/- 8:45 AM
Pertie :)

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Sigh... Me been really sick... Dying already... Maybe it'll be better off that way... Sigh...

Went for SRRR over the weekend... It's really fun... Enjoyed ourselves though it's really tiring and stuff... Got funny incidents happening too... The underwear man... The fucking ang moh couple... The drunk gal on steps... The cowboy and the bikini babe... N many others... It'll be great if thouse of u who gave it a miss this time round join us the next time...

Anyway... I really need a good rest... Will be back when i'm feeling better...

:) Cheers (:

xo/- 4:08 PM
Pertie :)

Monday, January 9, 2006

Sigh... Me been having a really bad time at home... Nothing seems to be going right for me... Nobody seems to understand me... Sigh... I dunno how to explain it... I dunno what to say... She doesn't reply my msges... She doesn't pick up my calls... I'll think she's in some kinda trouble... But later i'll find out that she's not... Now she msges me and tell me to stop calling her or msging her... Cos her mum is scolding her because of me... When my mum does the same thing? I never once said such a thing to her... Ok... Now I know... I'll never look for u again... You want me to stop msging u and calling u? I will... This is the last straw... Enough is enough...

*To make things feel worse... I'm not feeling well... Sore throat and flu... Just saw a doc... Gotta take medication... N while i'm typing this crap... I got stung by a freaking irritating mosquito three times... Twice on my neck and once on my elbow...

ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck man... I hate life!!!

xo/- 1:39 PM
Pertie :)

Friday, January 6, 2006

Man... What a bad day... I reached home a little earlier than usual last night but unfortunately... I had food poisoning... Was awake till like 3... Went to sleep when i was feeling better but was awaken by who? MY MUM!!!! She was searching through my desk... Looking for I dunno wat... Condoms? Or drugs? Crazy... Said she dun do things behind my back... Why the hell is she looking thru my stuff at 4 am in the morning? N my sis was staring at me to make sure i dun wake up and catch her looking thru my stuff? Haha... So dumb... Even if i din see her looking thru... Please lah... When i woke up this morning n opened my drawer... It was in a mess... Ok... Not like it wasn't already in a mess... But the mess looks different... I noe my things very well... What is this? She really wants me to move out? Just say so... Dun hafta keep doing funny stuff... I'm really tired... Working and studying... N i still gotta put up with all this crap... I dunno when i'm gonna break down again... Sigh... Thank goodness i can still share my problems with Jac... Without u... I wun noe wat to do man... :) I'll be so at a loss... Sigh... I'm still not feeling very well... Gotta go... Blog again later...

xo/- 9:45 AM
Pertie :)

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