I Sew Myself Shut!!!

Monday, April 10, 2006

so near yet so far... so happy yet so sad... oxymoron... haha... the end of my attachment is like this fri... n i'm having this mixed feeling... why? ocs... i want it to end but at the same time i dun want it to end... dun understand right? ok... it's cos i dun like working here... but it's the only time i can go online... the only time i can send free msges... the only time i can blog... after this fri... i wun have this accessibility again... and i dunno for how long i wun be able to blog... for how long i wun be able to read baby's blog... gonna miss all the fun things i get to do online... and no... that does not include porn!!! sigh...

feeling kinda down... my mum wants me to quit carl's junior... sigh... it's only when i'm working there... i feel happy... when i'm working there... i feel free... i feel out of my mum's control... free of all the stress i'm facing in life... it's only at carl's junior... it's only there that i can work and work till i forget bout all the troubles in my life... why can't my mum just give me that little bit of freedom that i have? y must she decide everything for me? i'm freaking 23 years old... not 23 months old... i hate my life at home...

i can't use the comp...
i can't use the phone...
i can't sms...
i can't even watch the shows i like to watch...
i can't go to sleep anytime i want...
i can't go out...
i can't even buy instant cereal to keep myself full during work...
i can't spend my own money...
i can't hold my own bank book...
i can't choose not to have internet banking...
i can't choose my own friends...
i can't choose where i wanna work...
i just can't even choose my own lifestyle...
i can't choose how i wanna cut my hair...
i can't choose to wear wat i wanna wear...
i can't even choose wat kinda pen i wanna use...

sigh... so far... my life had been monotonous... till recently when glynis and i had so much to talk about... i feel life is not so boring once again... we tok on the phone... tok online... msg from mrg till night... just talked for 4 hours plus on sat night... or should i say sun morning... from 2 plus in the morning till 6 plus in the morning... if my bro din need his phone back... i guess we could have talked a lot longer... talked about almost everything under the sky... haapy moments... sad moments... silly moments... i so miss talking to her now... lol...

den last night i went to geylang... to eat... dun anyhow think... just after i finish eating my black pepper crab... wei zhen called... it was s o funny... i called her back and asked her to call my mum's phone... den when she called back... this was wat happened...

me: hello...
wei: hello... zhuo shen me...
me: eh... u called me den u ask me zhuo shen me... u very cute leh...
wei: sian mah... so call u loh...
me: ok... (silence...)
wei: (silence...)
me: erm...
wei: talk lah... talk bout anything lah...
me: eh... erm... how are you?

ok... we managed to find something to tok bout after that... talked for bout 2 hours plus... my dad's face was blacker than charcoal... lol... too bad... i can't be bothered... haha... yeah... den when i reached hoome i was so tired i just showered... slumpedinto my bro's bed and slept till this morning... woke up looking like panda... dunno y also... haha... k lah... i think i shall end here... can't think on an empty stomach... bleah...

:) cheers (:

xo/- 9:49 AM
Pertie :)

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